60.2

The number of pounds I have lost since Squirm was born a little over a year ago. Now, I will say that 30 of that came off without thinking about it. I had Shrek feet...and ankles...and fingers for that matter. The rest took some work, but has happened thanks to Weight Watchers. I did start before Jennifer Hudson and somehow she started at a larger weight and has gotten to a size I haven't been since high school. I wish I had a stylist and some airbrushing.

Losing weight is a funny thing. At first you're "doing it for you." Then people start to notice and, if you aren't careful, you continue to lose weight for the attention and the compliments. Or, when they stop coming as frequently {and they will}, you gain it back. I've had to remember this, I'm not more lovable now that I'm down 15 pounds from pre-Squirm weight. Weight {that you have put on OR taken off} is not about the food, but it's not not about the food either. Sometimes I ate because I was happy, sad, bored, you name it. Other times because food tastes good. There is nothing wrong with that.

The catalyst for me starting to lose weight was those extra lbs. post-Squirm, but on a deeper level, I was done. Done with constantly thinking about how my clothes were fitting. Done with worrying about going up a size. Done with being distracted during church because my pants didn't fit like the girl's next to me. Urgh....Done. Who wants to live like that?! Not me. Not anymore.

The road to recovery {not being smaller, but being healthier mentally} is two-fold:
1-being done - Committing to getting over it. Committing to get a hold of my thoughts, already.
2-actually losing some weight - for a long time I didn't want to try to lose weight because I was concerned that it would consume me. Then I realized that it already had. Actually dropping a little bit of weight is helping me move on.

I'm not good at goal-setting and I'm afraid to fail. This process of losing weight is helping me over those hurdles and will help me in every area of my life. I may even put it on resume. {Speaking of resumes, more on that later}

The moral of the story: if you want to lose weight, do it. Move on.

July 20, 2009 - the day before Squirm was born